A lot of kink-shaming and porn-shaming seems to be — no, wait. A lot of kink-shaming and porn-shaming is based on a fear of anal sex between a man and a woman. Self-described liberals won’t, for the most part, say anal sex between gay men is wrong: that would be homophobic. But anal sex between a man and a woman, with the man as the penetrator? OPPRESSION.
I was one of those people. I once said, back in the misty days of my early 20s when I knew everything, that no woman could possibly enjoy anal sex. The friend I said this to told me to shove it, I didn’t know what I was talking about. I felt like a moron. This is because I was a moron.
I just read a (mostly okay, though not as BDSM-positive as I’d like) Alternet article: The Anti-Male, Anti-Sex Falsehoods That Rule Discussions about Porn and Sexuality. One particular quote by the anti-porn writer this article’s writer opposes jumped out at me: “any straight man who has had experience with anal sex knows that it’s a big production and usually has a lot of false starts and abrupt stops”
ORLY?
Certainly the first time I had anal sex, it was something of a production. A fun one. Like Broadway. We needed some dress rehearsals before we could get it right.
Nowadays, sometimes K can just get it in me with a bit of lube. Other days, he needs to put a butt plug in me first, or fuck me with a dildo. But “big production”? Nope. Sometimes it takes a while for him to get his penis into my vagina too; once, he even bruised my cervix so badly I nearly fainted, while having normal, if vigorous, piv missionary position sex. It took over a week to heal. But you don’t hear a lot of people talking about the vagaries of penis-in-vagina sex like they’re something scary and weird.
No, it’s anal sex that women can’t possibly want. Anal sex that’s somehow inherently demeaning to the receiver. I certainly enjoy being demeaned sexually by K (and anyone who wants to tell me that means there’s something wrong with me can kindly fuck off elsewhere), and the cultural idea that anal sex is “dirty” and “humiliating” can add to that, but the fact is: anal sex feels good. Really good. K’s dick in my ass gives me immense physical pleasure. There are lots of nerve endings in the butt and they love a good massage.
Here is what we are going to do with this post. If you love receiving anal penetration, comment. You can just say, “I love it,” or you can share your positive experiences. It doesn’t matter what gender or sexuality you are: you just need to love putting things in your butt for sexual pleasure.
